Crying In 4K, Laughing In HD
I just watched my Oregon State University welcome ceremony live online—from my couch, in sweatpants that are at least three days past their laundry date. The students and audience kept cheering (“Go Beavs!”), while I sat there clutching a mug of tea thinking, do they know I’m about to cry and laugh at the same time?
Apparently this is what higher education looks like in 2025: a virtual pep rally with confetti graphics and me yelling at my screen because I couldn’t find the un-mute button even if I’d wanted to.
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Meanwhile in Brittny’s Brain
Inside my head it was less school spirit, more circus.
“Yay! New beginnings!”
“Oh no, I have assignments due Monday already??”
“Is it acceptable to major in screaming quietly?”
It’s like my brain bought tickets to three different amusement parks and decided to ride all the rollercoasters at once. Every time a dean welcomed us, another part of me whispered, but when do I finish the reading?
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Real Life Plot Twists
Add to that: post-Kansas heart squiggles, family drama still buzzing like an unplugged power line, and the fact that I haven’t even unpacked from that trip. My life right now is a very full suitcase that someone sat on to zip shut. It’s closed, technically, but the zipper is like, ma’am, I’m doing my best.
Also: sobriety milestone coming up, family texts still half-frozen, and an Etsy shop that wants attention. Why yes, I did sign up for college at the same time as everything else. Ten out of ten recommend, if you like chaos served with a side of growth.
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Academic Strategy? Maybe.
Here’s my brilliant plan so far:
1. Make a list of Monday assignments.
2. Stare at them dramatically.
3. Drink coffee like it’s a group project.
4. Eventually… do them.
My professors do not yet know that “eventually” is a sacred timeline in Wiccan Recovenry scheduling.
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Closing the Tab (and Breathing)
So yeah. Welcome ceremony: watched. Emotions: postponed, but waving from the corner. Assignments: glaring at me from the OSU portal. Somehow it’s all both too much and exactly enough.
I don’t have a poetic ending tonight. I have a laptop, a looming Monday, and the tiniest spark of excitement hiding under the chaos. That might be the most honest way to start a new chapter anyway.
